Losing my Dad part 3

 

A year before my dad's passing, we kids came and did yard work in his and moms backyard. Here he is, directing my Zoe as she trims his tree. They both loved their particular role on this day. Zoe remembers saying, "Grampa, I love doing this chore with you" just to have him reply, "trim this one right here" haha. He clearly didn't hear her.

My dad died on a Monday, but me and my sisters Elayna and Tamara and Tamara's son Bennett came to their house Saturday to take down the Christmas tree. It was April and mom hadn't gotten to it yet. My dad got RSV at the beginning of the year and just couldn't shake it. He had some good days with the thought that he was on the mend but would get knocked down again. He had quite a few medical episodes with emergency calls and plenty of doctors appointments. He was told it was long-haul RSV.

But also I must note, my parents were quite independent and really didn't like our help. Us coming to help in the yard was like, they first time such a thing happened. They just weren't like that. Either they took care of things or they paid someone to. And they were extremely serious about that and we got it. It was amazing my dad let us come work on the yard but it was also fun.

However I do believe my moms toes were stepped on when we came to take down their Christmas tree.

Now let me be clear, I don't think her tree being up matters. And if she doesn't care, why would we? I am SO not the pushing type on such things and don't understand why a child would be. I am against it actually. And I think we all are, my sisters wanted to help but were worried about overstepping bounds as well. But this I felt prompted to do and I made big promises to my mom that we wouldn't do a thing she didn't want us to. She could sit and guide us. She would tell us every step of taking the tree down and we would do as she said. 

But I felt we had to. And now I think I know why. It was to be there with my dad. Granted he was in and out of napping and he ran to the dry cleaners and he went upstairs to rest. But before he left we gathered around him and Bennett said a prayer. (not a Priesthood blessing, a prayer)

I think that time was necessary because it was when we all realized how unwell dad was. 

Plus also my mom went upstairs to shower and we told him of a surprise birthday party we were planning for her at the venue the anniversary party was going to be held. He loved it. I think he needed to see this. He needed to see we were going to take care of mom, with the Christmas tree and with the surprise birthday party. 

I told him it was going to be fancy pants with finger sandwiches, and he said he and Bennett needed man food, they needed STEAK.

And it was good. Difficult and heart breaking and good.

It prepared us for Monday. But it didn't.