My Love Story- part 6- And They Lived Happily Ever After

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Gary had tried to get me to commit, the last we saw each other. He wasn't expecting anything unreasonable, he knew I was young and he didn't want to take my freedom away, he wanted me to have fun. But he didn't want to lose me and he saw that he could possibly lose me to Jay. He sat me down and warned me that if I got back together with Jay, that would be it, I would be throwing away my chances with him. I didn't like hearing that at first, I got mad and stormed off. (It was a long silent walk from the library where we argued in a whisper) I'd made all sorts of commitments to guys (that I didn't keep) but I couldn't make one to Gary and not keep it. Everything about him was so different than all the rest. It scared me. In the end we did make up and in one of his letters afterwards, the fisherman in Gary wrote-

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If the fish aren't biting on one side of pond, what do you do? Sit there and water log your worm? Not me baby, especially since I'm young and have lots of worms and lots of hooks. I'd move to the other side of the pond and try my luck. You're a special case, though. The rules say that when there's a trophy fish involved you're allowed to stay longer and try a little harder to catch it. You know I think of you as a trophy, so you're going to be bugged by me a little longer, baby.

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But the letters proclaiming that my smile made him crazy and his phone calls filled with whisperings of sweet nothings became few and before I knew it, even after his warning to me, I was back with Jay. (his version is that my letters became few)

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I most definitely had feelings for Jay. He was a good guy, very kind and very present. (Gary was kind but was not present) Why did Gary have to go to school out so far away? Why did he always have to leave me? Jay didn't leave me. As a matter of fact, Jay had never left the state, he was born there, all of his people lived there, and he would probably die there. I could always count on Jay being there and Gary was always leaving me.

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I let it all get extremely serious. I let Jay put a diamond ring on my finger and not quite literally, but figuratively, we were at the altar. (and closer to literally 'at the altar' than you can imagine, as in "my uncle across the street could marry us right now") I had a fight with my parents and ran to Jay and we decided to just get married right away and move on. I was done with the frustrations of answering to parents, I was wanting to be an adult, I was figuring life out and tired of trying to figure Gary out and I thought maybe I should just jump in the water with Jay and hope I'd survive. I was THAT close to marrying Jay.

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Then while 'at the altar' I had a thought-

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Every time Gary comes home to visit his parents and I see him at church, I am going to think, 'that's the guy I let get away'. I would always wonder what could have been.

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Sure, Jay was a swell enough guy.

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But Gary was so much more.

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Jay spoiled me and let me get away with everything. He wouldn't even argue with me, he let me win every (one sided) fight.

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Gary made me want to be more and let me get away with nothing. He argued with me.

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If I married Gary, I'd forget Jay and any feelings I ever had for him.

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If I married Jay I would never forget Gary.

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I loved Gary.

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He was tough on me, he was responsible in an aggravating way, he liked country music and cowboy boots and fishin', he was organized and a neat freak, he made plans and saw things through, he was manly and mature..... Despite all those flaws, this rebellious, sassy, irresponsible, country music hatin', fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants girl was madly and deeply in love with that man! That man that kissed me (only) once in the middle of the street several months ago.

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I knew I couldn't marry Jay, no matter what, and I ran from the altar, all the way home.

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I went to my Branch President for guidance. He said, "I talked to Gary, he said he's written you off. He's moved on. I think you should marry Jay."

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I talked to Gary's cousin, "Gary's moved on with his life."

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I couldn't believe what I had done. My life had been filled with one stubborn and stupid decision after another and he warned me that I better not go back to Jay! Why was I so stupid to do it anyway?

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I went to stay with my aunt. I had to get away from that town. Jay found out where I was staying and unexpectedly came over for one last try. I was very angry that he found me, I didn't want to be found, I wanted to be alone.

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One day while on the phone with my mom, she said, "What would you say if Gary asked you to marry him?"

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silence

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"I am not saying he will, but what if he did?"

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I couldn't imagine.

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A few days later a letter came in the mail.

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Lorinda- what I'm getting ready to say is very serious! I still want you! I've been on my knees for a week now asking God if I should still try for you and I got a good feeling about it. I want to know if you will marry me? I would ask you to marry me now but I've got army obligations in June and July, would you marry me in September? I know this is very sudden but I don't want to lose you to the world. Take your time and think about it. Gary

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Yes!! Of course my answer was yes! I couldn't believe it but...... Yes! Yes! Yes!

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But wait, he told me to take my time and think about it. I decided that if I waited 2 weeks, I would look mature and grown up, like Gary was, it would appear as though I did as asked and really thought about it.

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Plus there was one issue I had. Put it off until September? That was 7 months away. Hadn't we spent enough time away? Haven't I sat here at home while he's been off at school long enough? I was SO tired of him being on the other side of the country. This had been going on for years now and it hasn't worked out so well.

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So after I waited my two weeks I wrote back, "Yes! But I want to get married now."

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A few days later, when my reply letter arrived, he called me and fussed at me for waiting so long and then booked me a ticket.

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In a couple of weeks time I was in Utah and married....

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To my one true love.

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And we lived happily ever after.....

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My Love Story- part 5- Friends

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After my mother suspected (out loud) that it could possibly be me that Gary was stopping by to see, I started to see him in a whole new light. Maybe he wasn't just picking on me as Darla's little sister, maybe he was flirting with me because I wasn't a little girl anymore, but a young woman.

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For the next couple of years he was back and forth from college out west to coming home for the holidays and summer break. I found a new hometown boyfriend named Ray. I was just having fun with that relationship and wasn't getting my heart too wrapped up with him as I did with Al. I had met him at a football game where he was dressed in tight Levi jeans and a white tank top and I quickly fell for his bulging biceps.... er, I mean, for his great personality. His rock hard abs.... er, I mean, rock hard determination to be good to me was nice and I enjoyed his attention. It was all for fun and we did have fun. But every time I caught wind that Gary was coming home for a visit, I broke up with Ray. And almost as soon as Gary left to go back to school, Ray and I magically made up.

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In those few years Gary and I became good friends. He (with a few of his tag along friends from church) would come over to watch MTV video's. We'd hang out at the beach. Once we all took a late night walk to a park near my house to hang out. He pushed me on the swing. Then we stopped by the local gas station for treats on the way home. I remember him giving me a piggy back ride home, all the while I fed him gummy worms for his good hard work of carrying me. I once invited him to come along with my family, to the beach. I also invited another guy friend. That was an interesting day.

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Out of nowhere I was suckered into going out on a date with one of the young men from our church. The very next day Gary (with friend in tow) came to tease me, calling me Sis. H. "Hi Sis H, how was your date last night??" I could have died that the word was out. I wanted it to be known that I had no desire to be Sis H, all the while not wanting to speak meanly about a previous date.

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One day we all met up at the church to play basketball and at one point the ball was passed to me and Gary was running to me to get the ball. I played basketball in high school and yet I screamed like a girl and ran out the building with the ball in my arm like it was a football. He tackled me to the ground and while I was on my back laughing he leaned in and kissed me. Right on my teeth, since my mouth was wide open with laughter.

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When Gary went back to school he and I started writing letters.

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We had most definitely become very good friends.

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I was still confused about his real feelings for me but I had a feeling that he may be my future husband and I even wrote it down in my journal. I somehow, deep down felt like no matter what, he'd be mine in the end and it was all okay. No matter the confusion I felt now.

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But then Ray and I broke up (permanently this time) and a new guy came along and while Gary was away at school, it was looking like this new guy Jay may be the one guy that would get between me and Gary.

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That relationship started off innocently enough. I would call things off with him, just as I had Ray, when Gary came home. But after about a year our relationship got quite serious. Way way too serious. And when Gary caught wind he got even more serious.

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That is when Gary sat me down to make his intentions known.

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He loved me. He told me so. All of my past (3) boyfriends had told me the same but when Gary said it, he really meant it and I knew it. The other boyfriends were just that, boys. Gary was a man (and not just in age) and he would never ever say that unless he meant it. Gary was honorable and had never said it to another girl because he never meant it.

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Gary spoke to me in earnest about how if I wanted a chance with him, I would have to call things off with the boyfriend (or the need to have a boyfriend in general). He wanted me to have fun and to date around but if I wanted a chance of him and me one day, I needed to stop getting so serious about someone other than him.

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Then he asked me if he could kiss me. I was offended. Shouldn't a gentleman know when a woman wants to be kissed? Then he told me that in Utah and Idaho (where he was attending school) the girls wanted to be asked first. I declared that I was a southern girl and I expected him to know when I want a kiss and went I don't! Confused, he gave it some time, about 20 minutes, while walking home (we'd been at that park again) he stopped me right in the middle of the street and kissed me good.

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Most people at our church were unaware of the relationship Gary and I had developed but the word got out when one night we attended a church dance and the first slow dance, he asked me to dance, and he held me close and tight. I was sure a chaperone would tap us on the shoulder and let us know we were dancing too close but nobody did. I remember turning and seeing mouthes gaped open when people saw us and realized something was going on between us.

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But he was leaving me again. Always leaving. But with promises to write more often and to call me weekly.

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He did do that at first, (one morning I awoke to a rose that he had his cousin sneak over and leave on the front porch and he even managed to send me a braclet in a letter) but as a poor college student the phone bill was getting hard to pay. (no free nights and weekends in the 80's) And as a studious college student who also worked, having the time to write me often was proving difficult.

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Gradually things slowed down with Gary... and before I knew it, I was back with Jay. The one guy that Gary made very clear could be the end of the two of us, and I knew it.

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to be continued

My Love Story- part 4- State of Confusion

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Gary's 2 years of serving and growing and learning and maturing had come to an end.

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My 2 years of immaturing and rebelling and wreaking havoc on a loving home seemed to have no end in sight.

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As Gary had come home after completing a successful mission, I had just failed the 9th grade. I was already older that the other kids in my grade and was headed toward using a walker at my high school graduation.

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To complete my 9th grade year I needed to go to summer school for either math or PE. I disliked them both, but PE seemed to be the lesser of the two evils.

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There are teacher success stories abound, many a people have had teachers change their lives, but who knew that the teacher who would do that for me would be a PE coach and who knew it would happen with a group of misfits during summer school? That summer I had a 3 hour workout from Monday to Friday with a very tough coach. When the high school football players missed a day of conditioning, they came to our PE class to make up the work and said our workout was harder than their football conditioning. What we did was more like boot camp. We were pushed in ways that PE coaches don't usually push a PE class (coach admitted). We spent the first hour and a half running and the next hour an a half of calisthenics. Our coach didn't let us quit, didn't let us take breaks (until he said so), he didn't let us tell ourselves we couldn't. His motto was mind over matter. He taught us, at least he taught me, that I could succeed in anything if I put my mind to it. It's certainly a lesson I'd been taught before- by my parents, church leaders, other school teachers, but Coach Burke spoke my language.

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Before I knew it I had muscles. I was an athlete. And I had the beginning of an attitude change.

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One day I was waiting (with my knew athletic body) for my mom to come and pick me up after summer school when Gary and another friend from our church Ed pulled up in The Blue Bomber. They said they were all headed to the beach, a big group of them, including my older brother and sister, and they got permission to come and pick me up, 'did I want to come to?' Of course I did! But before we got into the car, I asked if they wanted to see my new biceps (they really were impressive) and they both busted out laughing, saying, "Your mom told us that you'd show us your muscles."

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Gary's summer job was delivering ice cream. He was an ice cream man. He very often stopped by our house and all my siblings would gather around his truck with the music going, goofing off and teasing each other, until he remembered he had a job to do. One particular day after a normal visit around the ice cream truck he left and we all went inside the house. Darla and I were telling mom the latest silly conversation that was just had outside with Gary. My mom looked at us both and said, "You know, I am not sure which one of you Gary's coming by to see."

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That nearly took my breath away. What was she saying?? Surely he's coming to see Darla, right? Surely he is. She's all grown up, she's moved to California and is just home for the summer. I'm just little old me.

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Could it be?

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It wasn't until then that I started taking notice of everything he said and did regarding me.

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Is he teasing me or is he flirting?

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Oh, but it didn't matter. I still had a boyfriend, I still had Al. WE were madly in love. Right?

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Then the days before Darla was to fly back to California (where she was busy enjoying California boys)...... I got dumped.

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Al broke up with me.

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The night before Darla was to leave she was out for the evening, I was home babysitting my younger siblings, it was late and they were in bed. I was down in the dumps with my break up and I pulled out the great big box of love letters Al had written me, I had Lionel Richie's song Stuck on You playing on my record player, playing over and over and over. I had the lights dimmed- the song, the letters, and tears. Lots and lots of tears. I read, I listened, I sobbed. I had a big puffy red runny nose and swollen face........ when someone knocked on the door.

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It was Gary.

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He had come to say goodbye........ to Darla.

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(with a little, "What's with the tears?!")

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to be continued

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My Love Story- part 3- His Best & My Worst

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Gary was 19 and for the young men in our church, that means serving a mission. And a good thing Gary chose to do so because as far back as I can remember, my heart was set on marrying a young man that did just that.

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The whole congregation, the very folk that helped raise him, was excited about his mission call. If not a tad bit confused though, as he was called to serve in Salt Lake City, Utah. Weren't all Utahan's Mormon already?

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(the answer is no)

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Gary's last Sunday before his mission was celebratory for the good work he'd be doing for the next two years, it was a nice send off, a heartfelt farewell. He spoke in church that day, along with his family. His family was very well pleased, as we all were.

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And he'd never been cuter.

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My older sister Darla was still crushin' on Gary, and was sure to miss him for the next two years. As she tried to snap a picture of him after church that day, I did as I always did when she tried to have a moment with him. I made my presence known.

(picture taken at Gary's mission farewell)

Gary spent the next two years serving, being selfless, focused on the important things in life, growing in many ways and doing good things. I, on the other hand, spent the next two year rebellious, confused, angry and grumpy. Doing miserably in school and making those around me miserable. Teenage angst? Yeah, I had that.

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I started 'going with' Al. I wasn't old enough to go anywhere with him, but that's what we called dating in the 80's.

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Gary was in a good place looking in the right direction and I was doing the exact opposite.

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.At last, after serving honorably, Gary's 2 years was up and he came home.

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to be continued

My Love Story- part 2- The Date and Then Some

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I should not have been surprised that Gary asked my sister out on a date. All of the older boys from church seemed fascinated by this new 16 year old girl. And what wasn't to love about her? She was petite, she had big brown eyes, porcelain skin (compared to my freckle face) and she was easy going and kind. Besides, Gary- having grown up in this small town and church had many adults who knew him since he was a baby cheering him on, excited to be a part of this match making.

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I had mixed emotions about this date. I was excited for my sister as I always was when her guys came around, and excited for the scoop on Gary and his dating ways, but jealousy was in full force.

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After Darla's and Gary's date they pulled into our drive way in the '65 Ford Galaxy named the Blue Bomber. I had been anxiously waiting for them and I made my presence known. Luckily where they parked was right by my bedroom window and being a mature 13, I pulled my window open and called out to them. "How was the date? Did you guys have fun? What did you do? Are you going to kiss her goodnight? Are you? Are you? Huh? Huh? Go ahead, you should. Kiss her!"

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A 13 year old sister makes a great kissing deterrent.

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Time went on without any more dates between the two of them. He graduated high school and at 17 found himself at BYU. That summer he came home before his mission. I had turned 14 and Youth Conference came, my first and his last. I was busy crushin' on the boys my age and picked out just the one for me. Greg. And life wasn't going to be complete if he didn't feel the same about me. I worked real hard flirting for 2 whole days and it was coming down to the final night and formal dance. We danced a few times and it was the last dance. Oh how I wanted Greg to ask me. If he asked me for the last dance, I would know he felt the same. I spotted him and it looked as though he spotted me. He started walking my way. Yes! I tried to look cool and nonchalant and he came closer and closer. I was ready to hop out of my seat and enjoy this last dance with him when he stopped one seat shy of where I was sitting and asked my friend (and Gary's cousin and neighbor) for the last dance.

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Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

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It couldn't be!

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My heart....

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My life..... it was over.

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Just then I see my mom and chaperone who had seen it all happen suggest to Gary that he ask me to dance. And he did. He was so very kind, sensitive to my feelings, he cracked a few jokes and made me feel good about my life almost ending.

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Two months later he was gone, he headed out to serve a 2 year mission.

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to be continued

My Love Story -part 1- We Meet

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Since everyone (all 3) wants to hear my love story (I'll stop twisting your arm now)

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It was a dark and dreary night, except the dreary part (but it was dark). My family had just moved from the capitol city of South Carolina to what we call 'the boonies', with the closest South Carolinian town being a very small town about 20 minutes away. We left a home that had tall office buildings in the backyard, to a backyard that consisted of a pond and plenty of woods to discover. I was in the 7th grade and excited about the move. Some children seem to struggle with moving from school to school and town to town, but not me. I was always up for the adventure. We were settling into our new home and my dad was driving into town to our new church to meet with the Branch President (a Branch President is equivalent to a Pastor in other religions) and me and my sister tagged along.

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My sister and I were excited to see where we would now be attending church. We pulled up to a much smaller building than we were used to. We entered the building and saw that yes, most definitely, this move was a good one. We were going to like this town and we were going to love this branch, for there was a room full of teen aged boys playing basketball, half of them shirtless, which was how they identified teams. Oh yes, this move was looking good. Literally.

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I, in my young 13 years of age, was a big fan of boys. I always had been. I never thought boys had cooties and they never grossed me out. In 3rd grade I sat across from Steve Lee.... and winked at him. In fifth grade I was fascinated by Billy Whitmires full lips, I was already imagining what kissing would be like. I am pretty sure that I was the #1 fan of boys. So sitting in the room full of basketball playing half shirtless boys was heaven, and I was scoping them out. The red headed guy with the chipped front tooth. The chunky fella that looked my age. The three brothers (the oldest being a bad boy, the middle one being the cute one, and the youngest being kind), to name a few. And my Gary was one of them.

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Gary wasn't one of the tallest by any means, but he was most definitely an athlete. Baseball obviously had him out in the sun a lot and something about his olive complexion and blue/green eyes made him look Italian in my 7th grade mind.

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But I can't pretend it was love at first sight. I mean, I loved them all as a group, for being boys. And I loved that there were a few of them to choose from that I put in the cute category. I loved the attention me and my sister were getting and that they seemed to be showing off for us, but Gary wasn't the first one in my line of who I would have a crush on. Mainly because Gary was out of my age range. It was like a second grader having a crush on her P.E. coach. However he was the perfect age for my older sister. Handsome as heck but too old, not too old for me to notice, but too old for him to notice me.

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The next day we attended school for the first time and I continued to enjoy the attention of being the new girl and enjoyed checking out all the new boys. When I went to gym that day a very chipper girl came to me and introduced herself saying, "Are you Mormon? Cause I am Mormon!" and that was that, fast friends were we. It turned out she was Gary's first cousin and next door neighbor.

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My teen aged siblings and I quickly settled in with the teenagers at our church and over the course of the next year or so the teen aged boys from church especially enjoyed driving out to the boonies where we lived to swim and fish in our pond. Gary usually drove a car full of friends over, he had a large older car that was called the Blue Bomber, which added to his cool factor.

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Then there were the visits I took to his cousin and next door neighbors house, with a large family dinner.... and Gary. So handsome, so manly, so out of my reach.

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Once my friend (and his cousin and next door neighbor) had a slumber party that I was invited to. We all slept in tents in her backyard and very very late that night Gary's younger sister declared there were cookies at her house, so we all gathered and tiptoed as quietly as any young teen aged girl could, in other words loudly, to her sleeping house and snuck in. We tried to be quiet and not wake anyone, we really did, but someone did wake up dazed and confused by the ruckus. Someone wearing nothing but tightie whites. Someone named Gary, who walked in the room we were all standing in and saw us and ran back to his bedroom.

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Seeing Gary in his underwear sure seemed like bragging rights to take home to my older and also smitten sister. Oh yeah!

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Only until she exclaimed that she had been asked out on a date, by Gary.

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to be continued

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