My Love Story- part 6- And They Lived Happily Ever After

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Gary had tried to get me to commit, the last we saw each other. He wasn't expecting anything unreasonable, he knew I was young and he didn't want to take my freedom away, he wanted me to have fun. But he didn't want to lose me and he saw that he could possibly lose me to Jay. He sat me down and warned me that if I got back together with Jay, that would be it, I would be throwing away my chances with him. I didn't like hearing that at first, I got mad and stormed off. (It was a long silent walk from the library where we argued in a whisper) I'd made all sorts of commitments to guys (that I didn't keep) but I couldn't make one to Gary and not keep it. Everything about him was so different than all the rest. It scared me. In the end we did make up and in one of his letters afterwards, the fisherman in Gary wrote-

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If the fish aren't biting on one side of pond, what do you do? Sit there and water log your worm? Not me baby, especially since I'm young and have lots of worms and lots of hooks. I'd move to the other side of the pond and try my luck. You're a special case, though. The rules say that when there's a trophy fish involved you're allowed to stay longer and try a little harder to catch it. You know I think of you as a trophy, so you're going to be bugged by me a little longer, baby.

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But the letters proclaiming that my smile made him crazy and his phone calls filled with whisperings of sweet nothings became few and before I knew it, even after his warning to me, I was back with Jay. (his version is that my letters became few)

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I most definitely had feelings for Jay. He was a good guy, very kind and very present. (Gary was kind but was not present) Why did Gary have to go to school out so far away? Why did he always have to leave me? Jay didn't leave me. As a matter of fact, Jay had never left the state, he was born there, all of his people lived there, and he would probably die there. I could always count on Jay being there and Gary was always leaving me.

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I let it all get extremely serious. I let Jay put a diamond ring on my finger and not quite literally, but figuratively, we were at the altar. (and closer to literally 'at the altar' than you can imagine, as in "my uncle across the street could marry us right now") I had a fight with my parents and ran to Jay and we decided to just get married right away and move on. I was done with the frustrations of answering to parents, I was wanting to be an adult, I was figuring life out and tired of trying to figure Gary out and I thought maybe I should just jump in the water with Jay and hope I'd survive. I was THAT close to marrying Jay.

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Then while 'at the altar' I had a thought-

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Every time Gary comes home to visit his parents and I see him at church, I am going to think, 'that's the guy I let get away'. I would always wonder what could have been.

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Sure, Jay was a swell enough guy.

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But Gary was so much more.

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Jay spoiled me and let me get away with everything. He wouldn't even argue with me, he let me win every (one sided) fight.

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Gary made me want to be more and let me get away with nothing. He argued with me.

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If I married Gary, I'd forget Jay and any feelings I ever had for him.

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If I married Jay I would never forget Gary.

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I loved Gary.

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He was tough on me, he was responsible in an aggravating way, he liked country music and cowboy boots and fishin', he was organized and a neat freak, he made plans and saw things through, he was manly and mature..... Despite all those flaws, this rebellious, sassy, irresponsible, country music hatin', fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants girl was madly and deeply in love with that man! That man that kissed me (only) once in the middle of the street several months ago.

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I knew I couldn't marry Jay, no matter what, and I ran from the altar, all the way home.

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I went to my Branch President for guidance. He said, "I talked to Gary, he said he's written you off. He's moved on. I think you should marry Jay."

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I talked to Gary's cousin, "Gary's moved on with his life."

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I couldn't believe what I had done. My life had been filled with one stubborn and stupid decision after another and he warned me that I better not go back to Jay! Why was I so stupid to do it anyway?

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I went to stay with my aunt. I had to get away from that town. Jay found out where I was staying and unexpectedly came over for one last try. I was very angry that he found me, I didn't want to be found, I wanted to be alone.

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One day while on the phone with my mom, she said, "What would you say if Gary asked you to marry him?"

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silence

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"I am not saying he will, but what if he did?"

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I couldn't imagine.

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A few days later a letter came in the mail.

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Lorinda- what I'm getting ready to say is very serious! I still want you! I've been on my knees for a week now asking God if I should still try for you and I got a good feeling about it. I want to know if you will marry me? I would ask you to marry me now but I've got army obligations in June and July, would you marry me in September? I know this is very sudden but I don't want to lose you to the world. Take your time and think about it. Gary

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Yes!! Of course my answer was yes! I couldn't believe it but...... Yes! Yes! Yes!

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But wait, he told me to take my time and think about it. I decided that if I waited 2 weeks, I would look mature and grown up, like Gary was, it would appear as though I did as asked and really thought about it.

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Plus there was one issue I had. Put it off until September? That was 7 months away. Hadn't we spent enough time away? Haven't I sat here at home while he's been off at school long enough? I was SO tired of him being on the other side of the country. This had been going on for years now and it hasn't worked out so well.

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So after I waited my two weeks I wrote back, "Yes! But I want to get married now."

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A few days later, when my reply letter arrived, he called me and fussed at me for waiting so long and then booked me a ticket.

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In a couple of weeks time I was in Utah and married....

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To my one true love.

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And we lived happily ever after.....

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